bitchybones
Any chimp can play human for a day.
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
and run for office on election day
fancy himself a real decision maker
and deploy more troops than salt in a shaker.
But it's a jungle when war is made,
and you'll panic and throw your own shit at the enemy.
The camera pulls back to reveal your true identity.
Look, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing.
A smoking gun holding ape.
Any asshole can open up a museum.
Put all of the things he loves on display
so everyone could see them.
The house, a car, a thoughtful wife
ordinary moments in his ordinary life.
But if she breaks a smile, she'll give you away
'cause no one wants to pay to see your happiness.
No one wants to pay to see your day to day
and I'm not buying it either
but I'll try selling it anyway.
-- Rilo Kiley
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
and run for office on election day
fancy himself a real decision maker
and deploy more troops than salt in a shaker.
But it's a jungle when war is made,
and you'll panic and throw your own shit at the enemy.
The camera pulls back to reveal your true identity.
Look, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing.
A smoking gun holding ape.
Any asshole can open up a museum.
Put all of the things he loves on display
so everyone could see them.
The house, a car, a thoughtful wife
ordinary moments in his ordinary life.
But if she breaks a smile, she'll give you away
'cause no one wants to pay to see your happiness.
No one wants to pay to see your day to day
and I'm not buying it either
but I'll try selling it anyway.
-- Rilo Kiley
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Nov. 20th, 2022
Jan. 15th, 2020
Jan. 30th, 2012
Jan. 30th, 2012 at 11:46 PM
January 30th, 1981
Who the hell is this clown and why is he here?
[Ministry]
And more importanty, when are we leaving? Travelling with your lot is like travelling with my grandma. I'd be there already if I was doing this on my own.
Jan. 16th, 2012
Jan. 6th, 2012
Jan. 6th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
[Minist ---
(aka fail!ward)
WHAT THE EVER FUCKING FUCK? WHERE DO ALL THESE IDIOTS COME FROM? WALK TOWARDS THAT FIRE AND I WILL FUCKING STUN YOU. I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE.
Mercier, I'm not any closer to finding the seal. Or the source of the curse. And --
Fuck.
[Borgin]
(Miraculously this one works)
Get the fuck out if you haven't already. And thanks for releasing this shit. Was getting bored out of my mind.
Dec. 22nd, 2011
Dec. 22nd, 2011 at 9:24 AM
I'm bored.
[Ministry]
I found out about this church that has allegedly been buried under sand. All the way to the tower. Going to check it out
PS. Flannery? Stop apologising for everything. It makes me want to punch you.
Dec. 12th, 2011
Dec. 12th, 2011 at 12:36 AM
Are we fucking done talking about John Lennon yet? And even better, are we done not knowing who he is? Do some reading. You know, the thing with letters on pages? Learning things? Ever heard of that?
And before you start:
Muggle culture is also culture. It's embarrassing knowing nothing about it. Practically muggle-esque, stumbling around blindly, like the other world isn't just around the corner. We know it's there. That's the difference between us and them. Think about that for a second.
And that was all from the Amelia Bones School of Pointless Lectures. For today, anyway.
PS. Found the best coffee in Egypt the country. I'd marry the owner of the shop if she wasn't seventy with a limp, a missing finger and a moustache thicker than the hair on her head. Might settle for financing her retirement. A girl has to have standards.
Dec. 5th, 2011
Dec. 5th, 2011 at 12:35 PM
Continents so far this year: Four.
Countries: I'll get back to you.
'Delicacies' eaten: Too many to fucking count.
'Delicaties' declined: None. So far.
Hours spent in direct sunlight: Less than zero.
Level of happiness about being out of It's Not Siberia But It Might As Well Be: GIVE ME A WEEK AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.
In all, two months in the same place is too much. Here's to something new, shiny and hopefully not too annoying.
[Ministry]
So. Where do I start?